I Have Always Loved Arkansas

But in the last few days, it has gotten better and better. Now if we could just get rid of some of our embarrassing congressmen and senators. One (or two) things at a time, I guess.

Our Long National Nightmare Is Over.

Huckabee has finally accepted the inevitable and dropped out of the presidential race. Who would have thought that a failed southern governor with a questionable ethics history and a propensity for basing his policy decisions on a quaint religious tradition would ever come this close to becoming President? Perhaps now he'll disappear from the public eye, and take Chuck Norris with him.

Huckabee Suggests an End to the United States of America

Republican Nutcase Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee has declared his intention to end the secular nation that originated with the ratification of the United States Constitution. According to an article on rawstory.com:

"I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution," Huckabee told a Michigan audience on Monday. "But I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that's what we need to do -- to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view."

All that separation of church and state stuff was overrated anyway.

Huckabee Has The Mark Of The Beast

This blog is not really meant to be "All Huckabee, All The Time," but this is too delicious to pass up. The Beast has named Huckabee one of the "fifty most loathsome people of 2008." Here's their complaint against Huckabee:

Charges: What's worse, a calculating politician pretending to be a devout Christian, or a genuine heartland preacher who didn't come from no monkey? Huckabee is both -- a Southern Baptist who rejects Darwin, wants to give everyone a gun and thinks people with AIDS should be quarantined, and a seedy, corrupt politician who's never seen a payoff so low he won't stoop to pick it up. Democrats see Huckabee as easily defeated in a general election, but they shouldn't be so sure -- Smooth talking preachers tend to do well in this country. Huckabee is well-spoken, kind-faced, and the opposite of wordly -- he's Obama for hicks.

Exhibit A: "I got into politics because I knew government didn't have the real answers, that the real answers lie in accepting Jesus Christ into our lives... I hope we answer the alarm clock and take this nation back for Christ."

Huckabee only managed a 47th-place finish on this list, well behind his competitors Rudy Guiliani, Mitt Romney, and Hillary Clinton. I can only assume the folks at The Beast just don't know the Huckster well enough yet. Let's hope that they don't get the opportunity to get to know him better.

A Voice-Mail From God

Mad props to the Arkansas Times Blog for the link.

Huckabee the Hypocrite

While lieutenant governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee was paid by a political action committee called Action America. At the time, he refused to say who the donors to Action America were, mendaciously claiming that doing so would violate federal law. Now we find that the main contributor to the fund was R. J. Reynolds. That's right--Mr. Health turns out to be a tobacco company stooge. Recent polls show Huckabee winning in Iowa; respondents say they like his "honesty." I guess that word means something different to Iowa evangelicals than it does to everyone else in the world.

Newsweek has the story (the relevant parts are on page 7). Thanks to the Arkansas Times for the heads-up.

The Company He Keeps

Mike Huckabee continues to gain support in polls in Iowa, New Hampshire, and Florida, with some polls putting him in a dead heat for first place. Apparently, people are impressed by Huckabee’s quick wit and his “nice guy” façade. Several liberal and moderate commentators have proclaimed Huckabee the most acceptable candidate among the Republicans. (It should be noted—that’s not saying much.)

But just how “acceptable” is Huckabee? Perhaps we could judge Huckabee by the celebrity endorsements he has garnered. Huckabee was endorsed by professional wrestler “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Flair is known for his borderline racist, over-the-top character in the WWE, but, although he’s had brushes with the law, Flair is probably reasonably harmless. Huckabee might accept his endorsement just for the kitsch value.

Among the first to endorse the Huckster was Ted Nugent. The draft-dodging chicken hawk is a homophobic racist who threatened on stage to kill Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. This is the kind of person who thinks it’s a good idea for Huckabee to be president.

Huckabee didn’t solicit Nugent’s support, and as far as I can tell, hasn’t exactly embraced the endorsement, although he’s made no effort to distance himself from Nugent. The same can’t be said for his endorsement by Chuck Norris. Norris, best known for his martial arts movies and his horrible TV show Walker, Texas Ranger, not only has endorsed Huckabee, but was featured in Huckabee’s first TV ad. The ad was a take-off on the Chuck Norris Joke meme that has fostered dozens of websites; it ridicules Norris’ tough-guy image. What’s the harm? Norris is able to poke fun at himself, as is Huckabee. Isn’t this an indication that he (Huckabee, not Norris) would make a great president?

Norris is not just a harmless TV karate guy. He is a columnist for WorldNetDaily, the goofy wing-nut website that makes Fox News look like the New York Times. Recent articles on WorldNetDaily include a shocking expose on a mall train that takes kids to Victoria’s Secret, and a report on a sheriff fighting against the liberal war on Christmas, and ads that offer a 23-cent cure for heart disease and (for five bucks) a video that proves that Darwinism lead to the Holocaust. Norris himself is responsible for articles proclaiming America a Christian nation and that the Bible should be taught in public schools. In other words, Norris is a true right-wing nut case.

Maybe we could overlook Huckabee’s association with Norris as a fun, funny way to garner attention—maybe Huck doesn’t believe all that crazy shit on the WorldNetDaily site. But it’s more difficult to ignore Huckabee’s latest endorsement. Jerry Falwell, Jr. (son of that Jerry Falwell) said that Huckabee was his choice, and would have been his father’s choice. This endorsement from beyond the grave should be the most disturbing to rational folks. Falwell Sr. once stated, “The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country,” and "AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals....AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals." He also famously claimed that one of the Teletubbies was gay and that the 9/11 attacks were God’s retribution for lesbians and feminists in America. If we can believe the younger Falwell, the man who made these pronouncements thought that Huckabee would make a dandy president.

I Don't Particularly Heart Huckabee

My newest anti-Huckabee rant has just been published in Quiblit, a new on-line magazine. I couldn't be more proud. I think.

Also, don't miss Max Brantley's takedown of the Huckster on Salon.

The Evolution of Mike Huckabee

During a Republican presidential debate in May, Mike Huckabee raised his hand when asked by the moderator which candidates did not believe in evolution. Huckabee's been deflecting flak about that hand-raise ever since. Most recently, Huckabee appeared on Real Time with Bill Maher, where Maher asked him about evolution. As he had several times since the May debate, Huckabee seemed to back-pedal, and to embrace a form of theistic evolution. Besides, Huckabee said, the question was "utterly silly," since he was running for president and not for eighth-grade science teacher (he's made this claim before). However, unlike Wolf Blitzer during a June debate, Maher called Huckabee on this:

Why shouldn't it be part of a political discussion? If someone believes that the earth is 6000 years old, when every scientist in the world tells us it's billions of years old, why shouldn't I take that into account when I'm assessing the rationality of someone I'm going to put into the highest office in the land?

Huckabee had no cogent answer; he said that the point was that "we don't know."

Why not give Huckabee the benefit of the doubt? Perhaps he really does believe in theistic evolution--the idea that evolution occurred, but that it is controlled by God. As Max Brantley of the Arkansas Times likes to point out, Huckabee is adept at running from his record. He's distanced himself from reasonable tax increases he supported as governor, and disowned the one or two good programs that he ought to be claiming. Why should anyone believe that his recent open-mindedness about evolution is anything but pandering to the moderates who may see Huckabee as an alternative to the less-than-inspiring Republican front-runners? Note that Huckabee made his concessions on the Bill Maher show, and on New Hampshire Public Radio. He's not exactly going to offend the conservative Republican base in either of those arenas.

No, much like Sam Brownback, Huckabee has realized--or had someone point out to him--that sane, educated people don't doubt the theory of evolution. Even though he's denied it throughout his career, at least allowing for the possibility of evolution might make him appear reasonable enough to be palatable to thinking Republicans. There will be plenty of time to insert creationism into school curricula after he's president. Don't think he would? How about this quote:

I think that the state ought to give students exposure to all points of view. And I would hope that that would be all points of view and not only evolution. I think that they also should be given exposure to the theories not only of evolution but to the basis of those who believe in creationism …

Why in heaven's name should we believe that Huckabee has changed his ideas on creationism? (You can read more about Huckabee's record on teaching creationism in the schools in an excellent Arkansas Times article here.)

Colbert Gives Huckabee an Opposable Thumbs Up

Mike Huckabee was on The Colbert Report again last night, this time trying to capitalize on his over-hyped second-place showing in the Iowa straw poll. (The whole segment from the Colbert Report is available here.) Huckabee was smart enough to try to play the whole thing for laughs. Colbert, for his part, made it clear just how seriously he takes Huckabee:

In one of the republican debates, sir, the candidates were asked, if they did not believe in evolution, to raise their hand. Now you raised your hand. Did you raise your hand to indicate you did not believe in evolution, or were you raising your hand simply to show off your opposable thumb?

Sooner or later, you'd think it would occur to potential guests that no matter how good a sport they are, Colbert's going to call them on their stupidity.

Again, it's important that people look past Huckabee's seemingly pleasant demeanor and understand the crooked politician that's lurking behind the smile. Huckabee fervently supports the Iraq war. As governor of Arkansas, he was anti-environment and pro-death penalty, he accepted huge amounts of gifts from supporters, ignored the state Ethics Commission, flew the Arkansas Highway Department airplane around to political events and book signings, embarrassed the state on numerous occasions, and then punished reporters for asking him about his misdeeds. Yeah, Huckabee's a laugh riot.

With Friends Like These

Here's someone jumping to Mike Huckabee's defense with regard to his belief in creationism. My favorite part is this:

But was that flood a mythical story or historical fact? Some say it's a myth because an account of it appeared in civilizations all over the world. They assert that the tale of the ark, the animals and the flood was such a dramatic story, everyone must have copied off each other...For example, Australian Aborigines, who were rather isolated and not known for their Christian beliefs, have an account of a flood...In Babylon, the story is also remarkably similar, but in their version the boat was a cube seven stories high. Now, I'm not exactly a nautical expert, but it seems to me that that a cube isn't the best design for a floating vessel...

Let's see...are you using the flood myths of other cultures as proof that the flood actually happened, then making fun of the other stories? Oh, the irony. This woman mentions every ridiculous talking point of Young-Earth Creationism, all of which are refuted here, and ends with the astonishing claim that Lucy, the famous austrolopithicine fossil specimen, was a chimp. Huckabee has already established that he doesn't understand the meaning of the word "primate," and apparently his allies also aren't primatologists.

Huckabee's Not a Primate? What, Then?

During the Republican presidential debate last night, Mike Huckabee was asked to clarify his position on evolution (CNN account of the question here). Huckabee didn't like being asked:

"It's interesting that that question would even be asked of somebody running for president," Huckabee said. "I'm not planning on writing the curriculum for an eighth-grade science book. I'm asking for the opportunity to be president of the United States."

Huckabee is showing the same whiny, thin-skinned lack of candor he displayed as governor of Arkansas. (He once cut off contact with the Arkansas Times because they refused to quit asking him tough ethical questions.) But guess what, Mike? You're running for President of the United States. If Bill Clinton could be asked about using a cigar for a sex toy, nothing is off limits--especially not this.

Huckabee answered the question by first seeming to endorse a form of theistic evolution, and if he'd stopped there he might have been okay. But then he defiantly embraced a literalist interpretation of the Bible, although he waffled on whether creation actually took only six days or not. He said, "If anybody wants to believe that they are the descendants of a primate, they are certainly welcome to do it." Apparently Huck doesn't understand the definition of the word "primate." Then he compared himself to Martin Luther, and finally complained about having to defend his beliefs on science, as if he didn't understand the importantace of his viewpoint.

So, let me lay it out for you, Mike: If you can't discern between fact (evolution) and fiction (the Biblical account of creation), whether it's due to stupidity, intellectual laziness, or bull-headedness, then you'll probably also have trouble discerning between Sunni and Shiite, or between Iraq and Al Queda. And we've already seen what a disaster that can be. So you're not qualified to be president OR to write eighth grade science texts (Messers Tancredo, Brownback, McCain, and Romney please take note).

Are You Kidding Me?

Mike Huckabee continues to struggle to stand out from the rest of the crowded Republican presidential field. His latest cry for attention is his suggestion that the Federal Income Tax should be replaced with a national sales tax (which he calls a "consumption tax"). Huckabee endorsed the so-called Fair Tax, which would eliminate the income taxes on both individuals and corporations, and replace it with a sales tax on all goods and services (including homes). The idea here is that the tax is voluntary--if you don't want to pay taxes, you don't spend your money. So, if you don't want to "voluntarily" pay taxes, you just don't buy food, or electricity, or that kidney transplant you've been eyeing. Of course, if you can afford to go to, say, Europe to buy things like medical care or a yacht or a summer home, no one there will charge you a sales tax.

Of course, everyone understands that sales taxes are regressive--they weigh heaviest on those who are least able to pay them. The Fair Tax people plan to get around this by paying a "prebate" to lower income people to offset the taxes they'll have to pay on necessities. Of course, the government will decide what constitutes "necessities"--won't it be nice to have someone else figure that out for you?

No one's denying that the current tax system is unfair and complicated, but you can be sure that a tax system endorsed by the likes of Neal Boortz and John Boozman isn't being put together to take care of poor working people. Huckabee loves regressive sales taxes--he opposed removing sales taxes on groceries while governor of Arkansas--but his record on taxes has been attacked by conservatives, so he is desperate to do something to position himself as a "true conservative" and to draw attention to his floundering campaign. This tax tactic worked well for Steve Forbes, didn't it?

Another Creationist President?

Mike Huckabee doesn't think that belief in creationism or evolution matters to a potential President of the United States. He couldn't be more wrong. The "president" we have now has demonstrated time after time what happens when the most powerful man in the world doesn't understand, believe, or respect science or scientists. As Stephen Colbert likes to say, Bush makes his decisions from the gut and not the brain, and as Malcolm Gladwell pointed out on Colbert's show last week, that has put this country into a heap of trouble.

In the face of overwhelming evidence and a nearly-unanimous consensus from reputable scientists, Huckabee refuses to accept evidence of human-caused global warming:

Huckabee was a guest on the April 25 edition of Glenn Beck. In response to Beck's question about whether "global warming" was "real" or "not," Huckabee replied that as "a Christian" he "think[s] we ought to take good care of the Earth. ... But as far as blaming human beings for enjoying the environment, that's a little bit extreme."--Huckabee interview on the Glenn Beck show, quoted on the Media Matters website.

What happens, then, when the Greenland ice cap begins to melt? Will a President Huckabee refuse to take action? What if astronomers tell the Reverend President that an asteroid--invisible to the naked eye--is going to impact Philadelphia or Detroit? I think in this case, I'd rather have Morgan Freeman as president. The fact is, Mike Huckabee does not have the education necessary to understand how science works or what it says. He holds a degree in religion from Ouachita Baptist University; this qualifies him to be a Baptist preacher, but not to be making decisions on stem-cell research, the space program, global climate change, science education, or public health. We've had one president ignorant of science and the rest of the reality-based world. Haven't we learned our lesson?