Ha! Ha! Hilarious!

My "local" newspaper, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, has one of the most awful, right-leaning editorial pages one could hope to find. It includes the folksy blatherings of Paul Greenberg, the incoherent ravings of Bradley Gitz, and a selection of unedited, apparently unscreened, often racist and homophobic letters from the Demozette's faithful readers. Despite the goofy rants always found on these pages, the worst features are almost invariably the political cartoons. One artist in particular, a person named Michael Ramirez (a selection of his crap can be found here), should probably win a Pulitzer Prize in the Category of Unsubtle Illogic and General Stupidity. However, today, the Demozette has outdone themselves. They ran a political cartoon by their own artist, Roger Harvell, that seems to be supporting the police officer who tasered a ten-year old girl. That's right. Apparently, according to Harvell and his paper, if a child is unruly, or won't do what mom wants, it's okay to call in a police officer to taser the young ruffian. Clearly, the only way an adult police officer may possibly subdue a child is with 50,000 volts of angry electrons. If you had any suspicion that the editorial staff at the Democrat-Gazette was not insane, this should lay it to rest.

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Says "F@#k Due Process"

Since I've moved to Monticello, I've had the joy of dealing with a newspaper delivery man who brings a wad of wet newsprint any time there's a heavy rain. This is not always a bad thing. In today's Arkansas Democrat Gazette, the editorial writer seems to be railing against the idea of trial by jury. Persons accused of terrorism, according to this screed, do not merit due process, or a trial, or protection from cruel and unusual punishment. They should be assumed guilty, then reduced to a smudge on the pavement by a car bomb. This is better than the alternative--if captured, the editorial writer sarcastically states, they might be waterboarded.

Why couldn't it have rained today?

Drowning in Self-Righteousness

In perhaps the worst ever editorial in a newspaper that specializes in awful editorials, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette endorses torture, and chastises us for questioning the torturers. Then, to flesh things out, they place the editorial next to an excreable editorial cartoon that illustrates that, yeah, waterboarding may be bad, but at least it's not beheading.

So, you read it in the Demozette: Torture's great, our leaders are wonderful, and the end justifies the means.