I Have Always Loved Arkansas

But in the last few days, it has gotten better and better. Now if we could just get rid of some of our embarrassing congressmen and senators. One (or two) things at a time, I guess.

Cops Can Do Whatever They Want!

Thank God, the courts have decided that it's okay to use excessive force against pregnant women who may be exceeding the speed limit. I'm sure that tasering pregnant women won't be hazardous to the fetus, and it'll keep those poor widdle coppers from being overwhelmed by those big, mean pregos!
(h/t Pharyngula.)

A Little White-nosed Lie

Leslie Newell Peacock of the Arkansas Times does a nice job here explaining the decision of federal and state agencies to close caves under their jurisdiction. The caves contain bats that may be susceptible to white-nose syndrome, a fungus that kills bats. The fungus is thought to have been introduced from Europe or Africa by human visitors. Note at the end of the article a quote from the owner of a commercial tourist cave who is "skeptical" that the fungus is killing bats. Does that sound familiar? If you don't like the science, just declare yourself a skeptic! White-nose syndrome, anthropogenic global warming, evolution--all junk science, invented by those pesky scientists to make life difficult!

The Party of No

(h/t Arkansas Blog).

Pass the Ammunition!

Today's shooting at the University of Alabama-Huntsville is a horrible event, but not so horrible that gun nuts shouldn't try to score political points off it:

Gina Hammond, a UAH student, told WAFF that she lobbied the University of Alabama trustees to allow students with gun permits to carry their weapons on campus. She was turned down.

“I’m scared to go back to school,” Hammond said. “However, if they were to allow me to carry my permanent pistol on campus, I would not be as scared.

“... I’m sorry that nobody in that room had a permanent pistol to save at least one person’s life,” Hammond said.

That's right--the answer to the problem is more guns! Read the whole news story on msnbc.com.

Martin Luther King--Conservation Biologist

"There is no human circumstance more tragic than the persisting existence of a harmful condition for which a remedy is readily available. Family planning, to relate population to world resources, is possible, practical, and necessary. Unlike plagues of the dark ages or contemporary diseases we do not yet understand, the modern plague of overpopulation is soluble by means we have discovered and with resources we possess."--Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., May 5, 1966.

2010--An Assessment

Although only one day has passed, the recent spate of year-end assessments has convinced me that it's never too early to get started on assessing the year.  So, here's my assessment of 2010 so far.

1.  Category One--Archaeopteryx's posting in 2010.  Only one post so far.  Contains some form of the word "assessment" four five six times.  Clearly, this rates a negative score:  -4.

2.  Category Two--Archaeopteryx's meals in 2010.  Breakfast, January 1--Two small banana nut bran muffins, a container of yogurt, one pear.  Score:  -2.  Lunch, January 1--All-you-can-eat buffet at Mazzio's.  Pizza crust was too thick and chewy, accidentally picked up "hamburger" pizza thinking it was sausage, none of the varieties had mushrooms, salad bar mixed greens were wilted.  Score:  -5.  Dinner, January 1--meal at friends' house included grilled andouille sausages (yum!) but also weird, flavorless beef sausages.  Mrs. Friend made unfortunately named "Pea Pie" which contained chorizo sausage, spinach, and mushrooms, as well as otherwise inedible but traditionally required black-eyed peas.  It was delightful.  Mrs. Arch made her always-fantastic potato casserole.  Score:  +8.  Overall food score:  +1.

3.  Category Three--Archaeopteryx's football watching in 2010.  Archaeopteryx's alma mater Auburn prevails in wild overtime victory over Northwestern in the Mazzio's Pizza Bowl.  +5.  However, in the Pea Pie Bowl, Florida, led by Jesus-Loving Crybaby Tim Tebow, stomps Cincinnati, thus vindicating the BCS selection committee and setting back by several years the fight for a college football playoff, and increasing the possibility of having to watch Tebow burst into tears every time whichever NFL team is foolish enough to draft him is walloped by the Colts.   -4, with an extra -3 penalty for the convoluted structure of that last sentence.   Overall football score:  -2.

4.  Category Four--Archaeopteryx's birdwatching in 2010.  A trip to a nearby lake yielded sightings of ring-necked ducks, a pair of hooded mergansers, numerous buffleheads, and a winter-plumage common loon.  Nothing but good here; Score:  +5.

5.  Category Five--Miscellaneous.  Beautiful, but cold, weather allowed some yard work; however two hours of raking leaves caused soreness in recently broken arm.  Playing with new iPod was fun, but cut into valuable internet-time-wasting.  One incident of cat vomit, but this was discovered by Mrs. Arch, who then, according to house rules, had to clean it up.  Score: 0. 

Adding the scores together gives an overall score of....well....zero.  So, on balance, 2010 has been, um, balanced.  Perhaps further assesment of the year is warranted.  Check back with me day after tomorrow.